an 'interesting' wedding

via


oh guys.

i'm sure you are all well versed in dealing with family incomprehension at your 'non-traditional' choices. and i could use some help.

we are not having a very 'traditional' wedding. we are marrying in the early evening so we can skip the sit down dinner thing and save ourselves some money and stresses. instead, we are doing anti-pasto, a dessert reception and cheese boards in the evening. for some reason the boy's family just does not get this. they keep trying to change our minds about this and can't seem to get past the idea of what you 'should' do at a wedding. rahhhhh! to clarify - i LOVE the idea of no sit down meal. we want something relaxed and fun and informal but after so many questions and suggestions of how to do a sit-down meal after we've said we don't want one... well, i start to feel like everyone thinks we are cheap. which we are. but it's also not all about the money and i HATE that i care so much what everyone thinks.

you know what though, i have to add in a little caveat here - i do think we are pretty lucky with the families we have and i'm sure compared to other people's wedding meddling families they seem like a walk in the park. i guess i'm just not used to having to explain or defend my choices in life. and we've been so careful in making choices that resonate with us that it feels like an attack when someone goes 'oh... well maybe we can put all the wedding guests on a bus and drive to a restaurant and do the dinner there...' (i am not kidding about that last quote by the way - that was the boy's sisters suggestion after we said we didn't want to do a sit down dinner.)

grumble. grumble. i guess i was just pushed over the edge last night when i was talking the the boy's 80 year old grand-ma and she said 'well, your wedding is certainly going to be... interesting.'

ok, share your wedding doubter stories. it will make me feel better!

an actual wedding related post

ok. it's dress time. just as some background, here's what i wanted in my wedding dress:

• not full length. it's just not what i wanted, it doesn't really suit the venue and the type of wedding we're having - we wanted something relaxed and fun and i wanted to wear something that reflected that.

• not strapless. the last thing i want to be doing on my wedding day is hoisting my dress up and stressing that the ladies might pop out (especially on a day when i am supposed to be grown up, elegant, sophisticated... HA!)

• not too hot/uncomfortable/itchy/poofy.

• ideally with a lace overlay.

• preferably something 1950s vintage - or at least 1950s looking. my mum once told me i was born in the wrong era and it's so true. 5os shapes suit me and make the best of the boobies and the fact that i do have a waist.

So after a few weeks of looking online and freaking out at the average waist sizes from that era (26" - really?!!! who were these women - barbie?) i found this little gem on etsy.




it was cheap. and sometimes i feel weird about how little money i spent on my wedding dress. i think it's fine but i know other people are all like 'but it's your dreeeeeaaaam, you can spend whatever you want' by which i sometimes think they mean 'you are obligated to spend a lot of money. it doesn't count if you get it for cheaps.' anyway - i LUUURRRVVVEE it and when i got it and it swished out of it's packaging and slipped over my head i knew it was going to see me through a very happy day.

however, it does need some alterations. it was hand made in the 1950s (just what i wanted - seriously the internet is awesome) but the lovely lady it was made for had stonking knockers because i am swimming around in there. also her torso was really long because the waist line sits almost at my hips. i also don't think i will leave the sleeves as they are as it is going to be freaking hot when we get married and the last thing anyone wants to see is a sweaty bride.

i also think i will change the neckline so it shows of the ladies a little more. they are one of the boy's favourite parts of me so it would just be mean to hide them on our magical day.

so - i have two options i am thinking about (please excuse hasty photoshop alterations).






thoughts and input are appreciated!

hot sundays

first shot of the boy on the blog. mmmm. sexy man with beard. i think his shirt is unbuttoned too far though no? i was afraid our friends might witness a nip-slip.


the boy's shot of me. i told him his finger was over the lens. he told me he was making it 'arty' dur!


man, i do love a london pub on a sunday afternoon with the boy and some friends and a sweet beer garden and some hot, hot sunshine. mmmm.

Like A Boss

do any of you lovely peeps have people who report to you at work?

we just hired someone in the office and she is now reporting to me. as she just started on monday i'm still getting used to the whole thing. i heard her talking to a client on the phone today though and she referred to me as her 'boss' which, firstly, totally freaked me out and secondly made me sing 'like a boss' in my head over and over again.

what's the worst thing?

oh yeah, her name is deborah...

weight for it - an update

after all my considered and mature thoughts on weight in my last post came a conversation on the weekend that showed me exactly how emotional and crazy weight issues can make a girl...

the scene: i am perusing the sale items at lovely clothing store with the boy. i am looking at a pair of trousers when i realize they are a size too small, as i reach for the next size up the boy walks over and says...

boy: "they look a bit small for you, i don't think you will fit into those."

me: turning from happy afternoon shopper into mad wide-eyed woman in about 5 seconds "what?! what is wrong with you? you have two sisters - don't you know anything about women?!"

boy: starting to look panicked and sweaty now "what do you mean... did i say something wrong?"

me: almost frothing at the mouth now "you basically just called me fat!"

boy: looking terrified now and backing away "what?! no - i never said that! i love you -"

me: shrieking "yeah! me and my enormous thighs!"

weight for it

having a fat day


so i was all set to a post on my dress today, but there's something else i wanted to talk about today and i guess it's all tied in with the dress so it's ok.

weight.

meg has a great guest post about weight and body image when it comes to weddings and it was so honest and to-the-bone and well written that i've been thinking about it all day.

let me just state for the record that i am, mostly, happy with my body. of course, like most women who live in a world where airbrushed images of perfection are the norm, i have my moments. moments where i curse myself for not having an arse like giselle or a stomach like a teenage girl. but i know deep down it's all bullshit. i am a pretty standard UK size 12 (US size 10), which, for me, it's just right. this is where my body equalizes to - every time.

sometimes i put on the weight - hello christmas 2004! and sometime i lose it - hello weeks long episode of gastro 2005. but in the end this is where i end up, and that's cool - the thing i try to focus on is whether the body i live inside is healthy and well exercised and it is - so that should be enough.

however i don't think you can underestimate the pressure that a wedding puts on a woman to look a certain way. and it's a funny thing that i can't wrap my head around. i think it ties in with all sorts of other issues about weddings and 'perfection'. you know what i'm talking about - it's all the choruses about how your day has to be perfect, the chairs have to be just so, the food has to be miraculous and the decorations have to be immaculate. well fuck that. people are not perfect and life is not perfect and i think this insane obsession with making weddings perfect just leads to guests with crazy expectations and stressed-the-fuck-out couples. but what is it all about? is it a superstitious thing? you start off married life in perfection so therefore your life together will be perfect? i don't know - but it pisses me right off.

but back to the body/image thing. i heard a story from a friend who went to a wedding where the groom was bald, he had been for years and everyone at the wedding knew and loved his bald little head. so what did he do on the wedding day? he wore a toupée. how bizarre. he was so keen to look a certain way on his wedding day (and i imagine in his wedding pictures) that he wore fake hair. and the same applies to the weight thing. all my friends know me and what i look like, they love me the way i am and if i whittled myself down to a bony version of myself for my wedding they would think it was weird - and 6 months later (ha! more like 6 weeks later) when i had inevitably put the weight back on i would look at the pictures and be eternally disappointed that i would probably never look like that again.

this is just a wee note to say that this is just a post about my thoughts and experiences with weight. if you want to lose weight for your weding go right ahead - do whatever makes you feel good. and if you are losing weight for health reasons - then of course you go on with your bad self and get it done.

the reason it's on my mind so much is that i work in an office of three ladies and we are all engaged. it's ridiculous. there's so much wedding talk flying around i'm amazed we get any work done. anyhoodle - the other two ladies are getting married within the next month or so and they are at the gym everyday and eating like rabbits to 'look good' for the wedding. it makes me want to scream! they are beautiful girls and are not overweight in any way and yet the pressure of the dress fitting right and looking good in pictures has crumpled them and they are hollow eyed focused on the end goal of 'skinny for the wedding'. if i ever talk about losing weight for the wedding on here you have permission to smack me.

the location

the driveway leading up to the hall...



the cute as a button church (which we will not be using, you know - the whole atheism thing) and hall...



the hall! we will be getting married in the back garden and having the awesome shake-down, rump shaking, music playing, toe tapping party in the hall after dark...


as I'm coming into this whole wedding blog world with a few details sorted already I thought I'd do a round up of the things we have already booked in/decided on.

first up - the venue!

the boy and I had a few ideas already for this...

• we knew we wanted to get married in Australia (we are living in London, but his big family is in Oz and my small family is in NZ so it seemed like the best place to do it)

• we wanted somewhere where we could have both the ceremony and reception (the idea of two separate places seemed like too much hard work!)

• we both loved the idea of a colonial style hall

• we wanted some outside space for the ceremony and lawn games at cocktail hour and some inside space for dancing and in-case it rained

and so, after much googling, we found the ewingsdale hall. it is an hours drive from where most of the boy's family live, close to a great sea-side town for out of towners to stay at and cute, cute, cute. we had actually been to a concert there when we lived in the area so we already knew it would work.

next on the list...

the dress!

You and me and the Ukulele makes three

so i did it. i finally bought a ukulele. i have been wanting to buy one for almost a year now and i have always found a reason not to just go to the Duke of Uke and buy the damn thing. it was always 'oh, i really shouldn't, we need the money for the council tax/rent/phone bill/savings for the wedding'. well bollocks to that! sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and i wanted a god damn ukulele.

i love him. his name is koha and i am currently learning 'island in the sun', 'dream a little dream of me' and (just because you sort of have to) 'somewhere over the rainbow'. one day soon, when i have learnt a song from start to finish, i will make a little video for the internet. but for now i am content with the songs i am learning and making ones up for the boy. tonight i sang to him as he angrily did the dishes (the boys most frequent and hated chore)...

'if i only had three wisheeeesssss...
one would be for you to never have do the dishhhheeeeessss...'

that's about as far as i got, but it has potential no?

x

the beginning

*photo taken in ladies bathroom in melbourne - artist unknown to me




hi there!

as this is my very first post i guess i'd better do some introductions. i'm lou, pleased to meet you.

in march the boy asked me to marry him. we are getting married in january and i find myself in the middle of a whole new wedding planning world. it is strange and all consuming and sometimes i don't recognize myself as this person who will happily spend hours looking at wedding blogs. sometimes the boy will look strangely at me and i can tell he thinks i have gone wedding mad. when this happens i have to show him bridezillas or four weddings to clearly show him how good he has it.

when i was an angry teenager i would tell anyone who would listen how marriage was a load of bollocks and that i would never get married. EVER! as a now (supposed) adult my feelings on the subject have (obviously) changed somewhat. however, i still find the idea of marriage to be complex, confusing and terrifying... as well as magical, practical and romantical.

so i guess this blog is my way of exploring and navigating those big ideas... as well as ooh-ing and aah-ing over pretty pictures and shoes and dresses.

i hope you will join me!

x