bah. i'm having one of those weeks with the wedding. i'm altogether too stressed about the whole thing. mostly because i am letting the idea of what the wedding should be take over. you know what i mean. i have been looking at the pretty wedding blogs and i think they are doing my head in.
mostly, it's other people invisible judgment that i fear. we are not doing a sit down dinner and i think a part of me feels like the guests who are traveling a long way are getting short changed. ridiculous right? they are grown up people and they knew all the details before they booked their travel and RSVP'ed. still, the expectations are doing a number on my poor brain.
i think sandy's family, in their well meaning, aren't helping. they keep sending me ideas, which instead of seeming helpful seems to me to be judge-y 'are you sure you don't want this', 'shouldn't you just book this', 'it might not be good if you don't blah, blah, blah'. you get the idea.
i am aware that most of this will be my own insecurity about the wedding twisting innocent suggestions into judgment. still, it's making me angry and ready for the wedding to be over. raaaaaaahhhhhh!
sigh. ok, next week will be better and it will all be ok. after all we are having delish antipasto, canapes, lots of drinks, cakes and pies and desserts and cheese, glorious cheese. not to mention a photo booth, a friends and family band, boules games on the lawn... oh yeah and sandy and i getting married for fucks sake.
ok, i feel better now.
however my bank balance is still recovering from the battering it got on the weekend. after dragging sandy out suit shopping (he was going to wear shorts for our garden party style wedding, but had been fretting over whether he should get a suit). we walked into hugo boss 'just to have a look' and left an hour later much, much poorer. but, but, but he looked so good in the suit that i actually got all teary and i could tell he felt amazing and confident and 'groomy'. so we had to get it. and as i told him as he hyperventilated down regents st 'it's a suit for life! not just for the wedding'. ahhh, it's not all about the dress is it?