breathe deep, keep calm and carry on

bah. i'm having one of those weeks with the wedding. i'm altogether too stressed about the whole thing. mostly because i am letting the idea of what the wedding should be take over. you know what i mean. i have been looking at the pretty wedding blogs and i think they are doing my head in.

mostly, it's other people invisible judgment that i fear. we are not doing a sit down dinner and i think a part of me feels like the guests who are traveling a long way are getting short changed. ridiculous right? they are grown up people and they knew all the details before they booked their travel and RSVP'ed. still, the expectations are doing a number on my poor brain.

i think sandy's family, in their well meaning, aren't helping. they keep sending me ideas, which instead of seeming helpful seems to me to be judge-y 'are you sure you don't want this', 'shouldn't you just book this', 'it might not be good if you don't blah, blah, blah'. you get the idea.

i am aware that most of this will be my own insecurity about the wedding twisting innocent suggestions into judgment. still, it's making me angry and ready for the wedding to be over. raaaaaaahhhhhh!

sigh. ok, next week will be better and it will all be ok. after all we are having delish antipasto, canapes, lots of drinks, cakes and pies and desserts and cheese, glorious cheese. not to mention a photo booth, a friends and family band, boules games on the lawn... oh yeah and sandy and i getting married for fucks sake.

ok, i feel better now.

however my bank balance is still recovering from the battering it got on the weekend. after dragging sandy out suit shopping (he was going to wear shorts for our garden party style wedding, but had been fretting over whether he should get a suit). we walked into hugo boss 'just to have a look' and left an hour later much, much poorer. but, but, but he looked so good in the suit that i actually got all teary and i could tell he felt amazing and confident and 'groomy'. so we had to get it. and as i told him as he hyperventilated down regents st 'it's a suit for life! not just for the wedding'. ahhh, it's not all about the dress is it?


yum

blog love

ahhh, the blog land is a magical place sometimes. sarah just sent me the link to these, i just might buy them for the sandy man for the wedding day.

hair

so, i know this has been featured all over the place of late, i found it here, and i have decided (after a very successful trial at home) that this will be my wedding hair-do.

as i will be doing the old hair and makeup my self - i wanted something easy and pretty that would stay without too much fuss. i think this is a winner!

what are/were your hair plans for the big day?

friends and family band spectacular

as my parents, and many of our friends, are musicians. we are putting together a friends and family band for the day of the wedding. the song list goes like this:

heart of gold - neil young
soul meets body - death cab
jackson - johnny cash and june carter
swimming song - loudon wainwright iii
there is a light that never goes out - the smiths
modern nature - sondre lerche

i'll be busting out the uke, and singing, sandy will sing and get on the guitar and hopefully it will be fun and magical... a bit like this! well, we can dream!

The pop-up invite how-to

ok folks. i know i've been a bit slack on the how-to front but better late than never no?

here is part 1:

what you'll need - crafting: scissors, metal ruler, exacto knife, cutting mat, double sided sticky tape.

what you'll need - paper: your card - we found that an A4 piece of card that folded up rather than out worked best, your pop up piece - design it so that it fits inside your chosen card and leave a tab across the bottom to stick into the card.

step 1:


on the front side of your card mark half way along the length of the card - do this on both sides.

step 2:


line your ruler up to the two marks you have made - this should be the halfway mark of your card. lightly score along the ruler - don't press too hard.

step 3:


fold along your scored line. you now have your outer card.

step 4:


now it's time to cut out your pop-up insert. go slow and try to keep your cuts fluid.


step 5:


you should now have your fully cut out insert. make sure you leave a tab at the bottom to fix to insert into the card.

step 6:


lightly score along the join between the bottom of your cut out and your tab.

step 7:


fold along your score line.

step 8:


measure out some double sided tape and stick along the bottom tab of your insert.

step 9:


stick your insert into your card. finding the right spot may take some time - so do lots of tests before you settle on your final placement.

step 10:


cut out a small length of card and fold as shown. the length of the card will be determined by the placement of your insert within your outer card so again, this may take some time to work out.

attach small squares of double sided tape to the outer sides of the end tabs.

step 11:


stick one end of your tab onto the back of your insert.

stick the other end onto the inside of your outer card like so:


this is another area where you will need to play around a bit. ideally the joining piece of card slopes down slightly when you look at it side on. this means everything lays perfectly flat when the card is closed and when you open it...

Ta da!


so that's all really. just be patient - in between figuring out the pop up and finalizing the design elements we probably did about 15 mock up cards. it was pretty fiddly stuff - but all the testing out meant that when everything was finalized we got them done pretty quickly.

good luck!

bad, bad blogger

ok, i have been lazy and bad.

i could tell you all that i've been so busy planning the wedding that i just didn't have time to blog.

lies, all lies.

i have been working - a lot. travelling. knitting - seriously - here is proof in snood form...



BUT! to redeem myself i have done the step by step how to and will upload very soon - sarah - i'm sorry it took so long!

oh man, i wish i was this patient!

oh my

ok, this is a wedding blog, not a fashion blog. but look. and yum and oh my.

i can't fucking wait

us at a music festival earlier in the year

can i just say that i cannot wait to be married. i want to be able to call sandy my husband. like right now!

foot freak

oh man. has anyone else had as much wedding shoe flim flam as i've had?!

i can't believe i have spent so long looking for these bloody shoes - -it's ridiculous! and makes me feel like a mad, detail obsessed freak, which i'm not.... but i wanted them to be right you know?!

for me the shoes are a big thing as i'm in a short dress. so they are out there for everyone to see.

as my main colour is yellow i thought yellow sandals with a little heel would be sweet. nothing too fussy, just cute and vintag-ey to go with the dress... simple right? wrong.

apparently there are no cute yellow shoes out there in UK shoe land (except on the wedding blogs, where they were freaking everywhere, but they were actually vintage so no go there). in the end i found some cute shoes online, however as the cute shoe gods hate me, the website only shipped to the USA. do i know anyone in the USA who i could hit up for some shoe help? nope. but my boss does. so i got them shipped to her friend's house, who then took them with him to her wedding in italy last week. she then brought them from italy back to the UK and into the office today.

palaver no?! but look how cute they are!



what are you doing/did you do for your wedding shoes?

the paper

ok, so here's another real wedding post. i have been working my little fingers to the bone making our australian wedding invitations and i want to share!

first up though, i'll show you our STD that we emailed out earlier in the year...


the original idea for this was the bike, which i know is all over blog-land, however, the boy and i are actual bike enthusiasts. i cycle to and from work everyday, we cycle everywhere together on the weekends and between us we own 5 bikes... one of which is a tandem. dorksville i know.

anyway, the rest came from collaborating with a friend at work and finessing the design together.

then came the actual mail out invitation. we wanted something fun and unique - something that would set the tone for the day. so i was snooping over at evie's blog and i saw this, it was just so adorable, i knew i wanted to work with the general idea to create our invite. cue my email her to begging to be able to use the design. as she is lovely and generous she said yes and we had our starting point.

we made some changes to the way the card opens, background design and layout etc. so, without further ado, here they are...




please excuse the dodgy photos, after 6 hours of cutting out the pop up section with a craft knife my care factor on the photos was pretty low.

the lame and the awesome

ok, so i know it's been a while - i have good excuses! i went to beirut, there was a skirmish on the border, i went to copenhagen (no skirmishes, just lots of chocolate and bicycles), and oh yeah - and the boy and i had our london wedding party!



here's the deal. we are getting married in january in australia but as it's on the other side of the world and all we thought we would have a party in london to celebrate with our friends here. we wanted to have it in august so it would still be warm (ha ha, oh how i under estimate english weather) as we were having the party in the courtyard of the boy's workshop. also we wanted to drag out this whole wedding-centre-of-attention thing as long as possible :)

the day dawned and i was tired. i have to be honest - i was not in the mood for a party. we had stayed up late drinking wine and making bunting from old wallpaper (what can i say, the blogs get to me!) it got to 4pm and i am not kidding, it fucking poured with rain. torrential. i freaked out. i got down to sandy's work shop after baking 3 cakes, a batch of 20 scones and a batch of jam drops and had a mini freak out. our wonderful friends were there, tidying, hanging up a tarp against the weather and generally being awesome. and i had a mini melt down. not my finest moment.

anyway, as the rain created a mini river that flowed through the designated dance floor area i retreated to the hair salon to get my hair did for the party. when i emerged the sky was clear, the sun was shining and the courtyard was looking pretty good! we strung fairy lights, bunting and bought prosecco. we were ready.

i just have to say, if our actual wedding is half as awesome as our london wedding party i will be one happy lady. people came - lots of people! they were so excited for us, so happy and open and generous with their love for us. our friends got up and said wonderful heart felt speeches and sandy gave a speech that made more than one guest cry. we ate cake and popped bottles and danced and danced and danced. we got to bed at 4am, drunk on prosecco and love. it was the best party i have ever been to - no doubt.

as for the real wedding in january? bring it.

an 'interesting' wedding

via


oh guys.

i'm sure you are all well versed in dealing with family incomprehension at your 'non-traditional' choices. and i could use some help.

we are not having a very 'traditional' wedding. we are marrying in the early evening so we can skip the sit down dinner thing and save ourselves some money and stresses. instead, we are doing anti-pasto, a dessert reception and cheese boards in the evening. for some reason the boy's family just does not get this. they keep trying to change our minds about this and can't seem to get past the idea of what you 'should' do at a wedding. rahhhhh! to clarify - i LOVE the idea of no sit down meal. we want something relaxed and fun and informal but after so many questions and suggestions of how to do a sit-down meal after we've said we don't want one... well, i start to feel like everyone thinks we are cheap. which we are. but it's also not all about the money and i HATE that i care so much what everyone thinks.

you know what though, i have to add in a little caveat here - i do think we are pretty lucky with the families we have and i'm sure compared to other people's wedding meddling families they seem like a walk in the park. i guess i'm just not used to having to explain or defend my choices in life. and we've been so careful in making choices that resonate with us that it feels like an attack when someone goes 'oh... well maybe we can put all the wedding guests on a bus and drive to a restaurant and do the dinner there...' (i am not kidding about that last quote by the way - that was the boy's sisters suggestion after we said we didn't want to do a sit down dinner.)

grumble. grumble. i guess i was just pushed over the edge last night when i was talking the the boy's 80 year old grand-ma and she said 'well, your wedding is certainly going to be... interesting.'

ok, share your wedding doubter stories. it will make me feel better!

an actual wedding related post

ok. it's dress time. just as some background, here's what i wanted in my wedding dress:

• not full length. it's just not what i wanted, it doesn't really suit the venue and the type of wedding we're having - we wanted something relaxed and fun and i wanted to wear something that reflected that.

• not strapless. the last thing i want to be doing on my wedding day is hoisting my dress up and stressing that the ladies might pop out (especially on a day when i am supposed to be grown up, elegant, sophisticated... HA!)

• not too hot/uncomfortable/itchy/poofy.

• ideally with a lace overlay.

• preferably something 1950s vintage - or at least 1950s looking. my mum once told me i was born in the wrong era and it's so true. 5os shapes suit me and make the best of the boobies and the fact that i do have a waist.

So after a few weeks of looking online and freaking out at the average waist sizes from that era (26" - really?!!! who were these women - barbie?) i found this little gem on etsy.




it was cheap. and sometimes i feel weird about how little money i spent on my wedding dress. i think it's fine but i know other people are all like 'but it's your dreeeeeaaaam, you can spend whatever you want' by which i sometimes think they mean 'you are obligated to spend a lot of money. it doesn't count if you get it for cheaps.' anyway - i LUUURRRVVVEE it and when i got it and it swished out of it's packaging and slipped over my head i knew it was going to see me through a very happy day.

however, it does need some alterations. it was hand made in the 1950s (just what i wanted - seriously the internet is awesome) but the lovely lady it was made for had stonking knockers because i am swimming around in there. also her torso was really long because the waist line sits almost at my hips. i also don't think i will leave the sleeves as they are as it is going to be freaking hot when we get married and the last thing anyone wants to see is a sweaty bride.

i also think i will change the neckline so it shows of the ladies a little more. they are one of the boy's favourite parts of me so it would just be mean to hide them on our magical day.

so - i have two options i am thinking about (please excuse hasty photoshop alterations).






thoughts and input are appreciated!

hot sundays

first shot of the boy on the blog. mmmm. sexy man with beard. i think his shirt is unbuttoned too far though no? i was afraid our friends might witness a nip-slip.


the boy's shot of me. i told him his finger was over the lens. he told me he was making it 'arty' dur!


man, i do love a london pub on a sunday afternoon with the boy and some friends and a sweet beer garden and some hot, hot sunshine. mmmm.

Like A Boss

do any of you lovely peeps have people who report to you at work?

we just hired someone in the office and she is now reporting to me. as she just started on monday i'm still getting used to the whole thing. i heard her talking to a client on the phone today though and she referred to me as her 'boss' which, firstly, totally freaked me out and secondly made me sing 'like a boss' in my head over and over again.

what's the worst thing?

oh yeah, her name is deborah...

weight for it - an update

after all my considered and mature thoughts on weight in my last post came a conversation on the weekend that showed me exactly how emotional and crazy weight issues can make a girl...

the scene: i am perusing the sale items at lovely clothing store with the boy. i am looking at a pair of trousers when i realize they are a size too small, as i reach for the next size up the boy walks over and says...

boy: "they look a bit small for you, i don't think you will fit into those."

me: turning from happy afternoon shopper into mad wide-eyed woman in about 5 seconds "what?! what is wrong with you? you have two sisters - don't you know anything about women?!"

boy: starting to look panicked and sweaty now "what do you mean... did i say something wrong?"

me: almost frothing at the mouth now "you basically just called me fat!"

boy: looking terrified now and backing away "what?! no - i never said that! i love you -"

me: shrieking "yeah! me and my enormous thighs!"

weight for it

having a fat day


so i was all set to a post on my dress today, but there's something else i wanted to talk about today and i guess it's all tied in with the dress so it's ok.

weight.

meg has a great guest post about weight and body image when it comes to weddings and it was so honest and to-the-bone and well written that i've been thinking about it all day.

let me just state for the record that i am, mostly, happy with my body. of course, like most women who live in a world where airbrushed images of perfection are the norm, i have my moments. moments where i curse myself for not having an arse like giselle or a stomach like a teenage girl. but i know deep down it's all bullshit. i am a pretty standard UK size 12 (US size 10), which, for me, it's just right. this is where my body equalizes to - every time.

sometimes i put on the weight - hello christmas 2004! and sometime i lose it - hello weeks long episode of gastro 2005. but in the end this is where i end up, and that's cool - the thing i try to focus on is whether the body i live inside is healthy and well exercised and it is - so that should be enough.

however i don't think you can underestimate the pressure that a wedding puts on a woman to look a certain way. and it's a funny thing that i can't wrap my head around. i think it ties in with all sorts of other issues about weddings and 'perfection'. you know what i'm talking about - it's all the choruses about how your day has to be perfect, the chairs have to be just so, the food has to be miraculous and the decorations have to be immaculate. well fuck that. people are not perfect and life is not perfect and i think this insane obsession with making weddings perfect just leads to guests with crazy expectations and stressed-the-fuck-out couples. but what is it all about? is it a superstitious thing? you start off married life in perfection so therefore your life together will be perfect? i don't know - but it pisses me right off.

but back to the body/image thing. i heard a story from a friend who went to a wedding where the groom was bald, he had been for years and everyone at the wedding knew and loved his bald little head. so what did he do on the wedding day? he wore a toupée. how bizarre. he was so keen to look a certain way on his wedding day (and i imagine in his wedding pictures) that he wore fake hair. and the same applies to the weight thing. all my friends know me and what i look like, they love me the way i am and if i whittled myself down to a bony version of myself for my wedding they would think it was weird - and 6 months later (ha! more like 6 weeks later) when i had inevitably put the weight back on i would look at the pictures and be eternally disappointed that i would probably never look like that again.

this is just a wee note to say that this is just a post about my thoughts and experiences with weight. if you want to lose weight for your weding go right ahead - do whatever makes you feel good. and if you are losing weight for health reasons - then of course you go on with your bad self and get it done.

the reason it's on my mind so much is that i work in an office of three ladies and we are all engaged. it's ridiculous. there's so much wedding talk flying around i'm amazed we get any work done. anyhoodle - the other two ladies are getting married within the next month or so and they are at the gym everyday and eating like rabbits to 'look good' for the wedding. it makes me want to scream! they are beautiful girls and are not overweight in any way and yet the pressure of the dress fitting right and looking good in pictures has crumpled them and they are hollow eyed focused on the end goal of 'skinny for the wedding'. if i ever talk about losing weight for the wedding on here you have permission to smack me.

the location

the driveway leading up to the hall...



the cute as a button church (which we will not be using, you know - the whole atheism thing) and hall...



the hall! we will be getting married in the back garden and having the awesome shake-down, rump shaking, music playing, toe tapping party in the hall after dark...


as I'm coming into this whole wedding blog world with a few details sorted already I thought I'd do a round up of the things we have already booked in/decided on.

first up - the venue!

the boy and I had a few ideas already for this...

• we knew we wanted to get married in Australia (we are living in London, but his big family is in Oz and my small family is in NZ so it seemed like the best place to do it)

• we wanted somewhere where we could have both the ceremony and reception (the idea of two separate places seemed like too much hard work!)

• we both loved the idea of a colonial style hall

• we wanted some outside space for the ceremony and lawn games at cocktail hour and some inside space for dancing and in-case it rained

and so, after much googling, we found the ewingsdale hall. it is an hours drive from where most of the boy's family live, close to a great sea-side town for out of towners to stay at and cute, cute, cute. we had actually been to a concert there when we lived in the area so we already knew it would work.

next on the list...

the dress!

You and me and the Ukulele makes three

so i did it. i finally bought a ukulele. i have been wanting to buy one for almost a year now and i have always found a reason not to just go to the Duke of Uke and buy the damn thing. it was always 'oh, i really shouldn't, we need the money for the council tax/rent/phone bill/savings for the wedding'. well bollocks to that! sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. and i wanted a god damn ukulele.

i love him. his name is koha and i am currently learning 'island in the sun', 'dream a little dream of me' and (just because you sort of have to) 'somewhere over the rainbow'. one day soon, when i have learnt a song from start to finish, i will make a little video for the internet. but for now i am content with the songs i am learning and making ones up for the boy. tonight i sang to him as he angrily did the dishes (the boys most frequent and hated chore)...

'if i only had three wisheeeesssss...
one would be for you to never have do the dishhhheeeeessss...'

that's about as far as i got, but it has potential no?

x

the beginning

*photo taken in ladies bathroom in melbourne - artist unknown to me




hi there!

as this is my very first post i guess i'd better do some introductions. i'm lou, pleased to meet you.

in march the boy asked me to marry him. we are getting married in january and i find myself in the middle of a whole new wedding planning world. it is strange and all consuming and sometimes i don't recognize myself as this person who will happily spend hours looking at wedding blogs. sometimes the boy will look strangely at me and i can tell he thinks i have gone wedding mad. when this happens i have to show him bridezillas or four weddings to clearly show him how good he has it.

when i was an angry teenager i would tell anyone who would listen how marriage was a load of bollocks and that i would never get married. EVER! as a now (supposed) adult my feelings on the subject have (obviously) changed somewhat. however, i still find the idea of marriage to be complex, confusing and terrifying... as well as magical, practical and romantical.

so i guess this blog is my way of exploring and navigating those big ideas... as well as ooh-ing and aah-ing over pretty pictures and shoes and dresses.

i hope you will join me!

x