Friday, 16 July 2010

weight for it

having a fat day

so i was all set to a post on my dress today, but there's something else i wanted to talk about today and i guess it's all tied in with the dress so it's ok.


meg has a great guest post about weight and body image when it comes to weddings and it was so honest and to-the-bone and well written that i've been thinking about it all day.

let me just state for the record that i am, mostly, happy with my body. of course, like most women who live in a world where airbrushed images of perfection are the norm, i have my moments. moments where i curse myself for not having an arse like giselle or a stomach like a teenage girl. but i know deep down it's all bullshit. i am a pretty standard UK size 12 (US size 10), which, for me, it's just right. this is where my body equalizes to - every time.

sometimes i put on the weight - hello christmas 2004! and sometime i lose it - hello weeks long episode of gastro 2005. but in the end this is where i end up, and that's cool - the thing i try to focus on is whether the body i live inside is healthy and well exercised and it is - so that should be enough.

however i don't think you can underestimate the pressure that a wedding puts on a woman to look a certain way. and it's a funny thing that i can't wrap my head around. i think it ties in with all sorts of other issues about weddings and 'perfection'. you know what i'm talking about - it's all the choruses about how your day has to be perfect, the chairs have to be just so, the food has to be miraculous and the decorations have to be immaculate. well fuck that. people are not perfect and life is not perfect and i think this insane obsession with making weddings perfect just leads to guests with crazy expectations and stressed-the-fuck-out couples. but what is it all about? is it a superstitious thing? you start off married life in perfection so therefore your life together will be perfect? i don't know - but it pisses me right off.

but back to the body/image thing. i heard a story from a friend who went to a wedding where the groom was bald, he had been for years and everyone at the wedding knew and loved his bald little head. so what did he do on the wedding day? he wore a toupée. how bizarre. he was so keen to look a certain way on his wedding day (and i imagine in his wedding pictures) that he wore fake hair. and the same applies to the weight thing. all my friends know me and what i look like, they love me the way i am and if i whittled myself down to a bony version of myself for my wedding they would think it was weird - and 6 months later (ha! more like 6 weeks later) when i had inevitably put the weight back on i would look at the pictures and be eternally disappointed that i would probably never look like that again.

this is just a wee note to say that this is just a post about my thoughts and experiences with weight. if you want to lose weight for your weding go right ahead - do whatever makes you feel good. and if you are losing weight for health reasons - then of course you go on with your bad self and get it done.

the reason it's on my mind so much is that i work in an office of three ladies and we are all engaged. it's ridiculous. there's so much wedding talk flying around i'm amazed we get any work done. anyhoodle - the other two ladies are getting married within the next month or so and they are at the gym everyday and eating like rabbits to 'look good' for the wedding. it makes me want to scream! they are beautiful girls and are not overweight in any way and yet the pressure of the dress fitting right and looking good in pictures has crumpled them and they are hollow eyed focused on the end goal of 'skinny for the wedding'. if i ever talk about losing weight for the wedding on here you have permission to smack me.


  1. first, my granddad goes by lou. not even his real name. i love it.

    second, my grandma's nickname is lulu. i call her lou. i also love that.

    third, totally finding a way to nickname one of my kids lou.

    anyways.... i can go on and on about weight. BUT. i want to talk about this toupee things and how crazy it sounds. for one, not so often you hear about a guy pulling ye olde switcheroo for wedding day. and next time i think about being 20 lbs lighter for wedding, i'll remember that it's not me and i might as well wear a toupee. ha!

  2. I'm losing weight - Slimming World. It's true, I joined after I got engaged and the wedding is the goal. But I was trying before. And it's not just for the wedding, but for ever!

  3. @ Angie - you are too cute! thanks for the name love. it's funny - when i was younger i hated the name so much - but now i think it's pretty cool. also, sometimes the gender ambiguous nature is funny. even funnier when you consider that the boys name is sandy. two gender confusing names in one relationship leads to hilarious social situations. like in my last job (when i went through the phase of calling him my 'partner') where everyone just assumed i was a lesbian and were all very confused when a bearded sandy showed up as my date to a work function.

    now i have an image in my head of you in your (gorgeous!) wedding dress wearing a toupée - hilarious!

    also, can i just say i'm loving that you are the first commenter since i have been loving your blog for a while now and you were my inspiration for starting up this blog... :)

    @ claire - i've been following your blog for a while too as your blog name was too delicious to resist - two things i love so much - cake AND bunting - lovely! i think your weight loss goals are totally right on. you wanted to make a change and the wedding is the catalyst and motivation. what freaks me out is the assumption that brides will all automatically want to lose weight for their wedding. like it's just another thing you 'have' to do. but i'm rooting for you girl - methinks you have the right attitude to the whole thing.

  4. Shit - I have readers I don't know about! I am definitely going to have to start google statting the blog (how??).

    I sort of wish I'd called the blog something else now - upon venturing into blogland, I found many many 'x and y' named blogs. Not that it's a problem as they're all great, but I am one of many!

  5. @ claire - yeah, sorry - i was sneaky reading. not commenting and generally lurking around reading the blog goodness!

    ummm, not sure about how to tell who is reading the blog but you can see how many are clicking onto the blog with google analytics - it's pretty easy to use. i am not very good with tech stuff and i managed to work it out ok.

    and i love the blog name! but i hear you - it's tough to make a choice and then you start looking around and getting cool-blog-name-envy - argh!

  6. Agreed!

    I've seen people's wedding photos, where they look like they might snap in half, and they sure don't look like that in real life! I think I'll be stressed enough in the lead up without being in a bad mood because I'm hungry all of the time.


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